October 12th: Mamie Counts Planes

 
Three maple-shaped leaves lying on the ground: one yellow, one red, one green. Overlaid text: "#drabbletober".
 

Day 12 of my drabble-a-day challenge! Here is today’s drabble:


Mamie Counts Planes

Mamie counts. Every night.

At first, she hated them roaring overhead.

"That's the seventeenth tonight," she'd mutter as she brewed her evening cocoa.

She'd try to read.

"Eighteenth."

She'd stuff her head under her pillow, and still start awake.

Now, she sits in her chair, blanket round her shoulders, and counts them both ways. Thirty three went out tonight, thirty have come back.

The cocoa is cold.

"Thirty one," she whispers, as a coughing engine limps home.

Mamie waits. She waits until sunrise.

Then she slips down to the church, and lights candles for the crews which didn't make it.


My mum was born during the Second World War. Her father, my grandfather, was away in the navy fighting.

Although she was just a small child, she has a very strong memory of lying in her cot and hearing the bombers fly out every night from the nearby airbase - and fly back. It made me wonder how the adults felt, hearing the planes leave and return each night.

October 11th: The Little Girl Who Loved Yellow

 
A tangle of autumnal foliage. Overlaid with the text "#drabbletober".
 

Day 11 of my drabble-a-day challenge. Here is today’s drabble:


The Little Girl Who Loved Yellow

My hand hovered over the bottle of pink food colouring.

"Yellow," whispered my mum, voice shaking. "She loves yellow."

"I loved orange when I was six. People change."

Mum looked me over, top-to-toe black and bleached hair. "She loves yellow."

I sighed, tinted the icing yellow, and spread it on the cake. Cake for the birthday after Pippa's sixth birthday, the birthday we celebrate every year. Cake she would never eat.

The framed photo of me changes: new school, graduation, engagement party.

The matching photo of Pippa stays the same. Yellow dress, yellow ribbons. Trapped forever at six.


This is another idea that has been rattling around for a while, but which never seemed to have quite enough substance for a short story. Clearly the answer is that I just need to write shorter stories.

October 10th: Immortal Glory

 
A row of autumnal trees, with a landscape spread out behind them. Blue sky, fluffy white clouds, overlaid with the text "#drabbletober".
 

Day 10 of my drabble-a-day challenge. Here is today’s drabble:


Immortal Glory

Yes, your majesty. I'm afraid your body could not be repaired. The bullets hit too many organs.

Oh, naturally. Justice was served immediately. I'm told the screams could be heard as far as the library.

I visited the slave markets this morning, and...

No, of course not, your majesty. Obviously you must choose your own vessel. However, I saw an excellent opportunity. If you wish, they can be brought here immediately.

Yes, them. Athletic, tall, very imposing - and identical twins. You could...

Indeed, majesty. Think of the versatility - body double, spare...

Of course, majesty. I'll arrange the transfer this afternoon.


OK, OK, I admit it. I’m sucker for brain-in-a-jar narratives. Although, in reality, I find it very hard to see past the problems we’d land ourselves with by perfecting the art of transferring a consciousness into or out of its original body.

Still, good for a story :-)

October 9th: The Taste of Paint

 
Slim tree branches with green, red and gold foliage against a blue sky. Overlaid text: "drabbletober".
 

Day 9 of the drabble-a-day challenge. Here is today’s drabble:


The Taste of Paint

We threw ourselves into it. We were adults, we'd owned the flat for years.

How hard could it be?

We watched YouTube. We read the booklet the local DIY store produced. We even, feeling like children, asked our parents for advice.

And we started, mugs of tea in hand, laughing, radio turned up.

The first effort didn't go well. We had to strip it and start again. The second was worse: more YouTube, more Googling, more phone calls. More advice we couldn't follow.

We are three days in. Widening cracks, plaster dust in our hair and the taste of paint.


There is not much subtlety today: decorating is going on in my home. There is Grand Disarray. Furniture has been moved from its usual locations to clear space (and now it is impossible to walk along the hall without tripping over a bedside table or a curtain pole).

As with all household jobs, the work has expanded as it is examined. Unexpected tasks have revealed themselves, and minor difficulties are queueing up for attention. In other words, it is a totally normal DIY project.

So far, nothing dreadfully untoward has happened. But I fear it is only a matter of time…

October 8th: Sleepover

 
A sunken path, covered in dead leaves, leads away into trees whose leaves are still green. Text overlaid in black: "#drabbletober"
 

Day 8 of my drabble-a-day challenge, now entering its second week! Here is today’s drabble:


Sleepover

Mum came to check we were in bed. She turned out the light, but the streetlamp outside meant we could still more or less see each other.

I waited until Laura was nearly asleep before I told her.

"Uncle Michael died in that bed you're in."

You should have seen her! Talk about vertical take-off, it was hilarious.

Uncle Michael was our mum's brother, an ex-army man who loved pranks and jokes. He didn't really die in that bed.

He died in this one. I feel his fingers on my neck. Scaring my sister hadn't been my idea.


While on the motorway the other day, I passed a lorry full of mattresses. At least, the outside of the lorry was decorated with the logos of a mattress company. I noted that their slogan includes the recommendation that you replace your mattress every 8 years.

Which, to be fair, I’d probably also say if I sold mattresses.

As it is, I just regard it as another attempt to remove ghosts from our modern era.

October 7th: Dark Fashion

 
A cottage, almost hidden by a huge red creeper. Text overlay: "#drabbletober".
 

Day 7 of my drabble-a-day challenge. Here is today’s drabble:


Dark Fashion

My lady's shadow lay discarded on the chair. The shadows the seller pulled from his sack shuddered and twisted, but my lady shrugged.

"Too boring. Too tame."

"A bear?"

"Too bulky."

"A lion?"

"The Viscountess has a lion."

When my lady finally left, the shadow of a northern moonwolf flowed unwillingly behind her. She scurried to display it at the salons.

This winter, the fashion is visiting the Ice Palaces.

That is my country. I will show my lady the ice path, oh yes. Somewhere out there is a moonwolf without a shadow. And it is angry, so angry...


Today I have been out hiking in the trackless wilds of the Chilterns. It’s an area of the country I always think of as being quite flat: this is unfair, there are definite hills to be had.

I stood on a chalk edge, watching the shadows of clouds racing across the farmland below me. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that in south-east England before.

October 6th: Run

 
Two pale pink roses, growing on a bush. Against the colour of the soil, is overlaid the text "#drabbletober".
 

Day six of my drabble-a-day challenge. Here’s is today’s drabble:


Run

It was an odd little place, tucked down a side-road. Half a dozen rickety tables, a laminated picture-menu and stacks of cheap, wooden chopsticks.

The food was good - we ate dumplings, and a chilli-soaked dish of aubergine and ground lamb - but the constant gaze of the waiters made me nervous. Was every whispered conversation about us?

"Let's get out of here."

When I returned from the bathroom, my sister was gone. Her chair was overturned, the restaurant door open. On the table were the crumbs of a fortune cookie, and a scrap of paper.

It read: RUN.


This is an idea that’s been lurking about in the back of my head for years. It was just an isolated plotpoint: someone opens a fortune cookie, finds the fortune inside just says “run”, and acts on it. I could never come up with quite why this happened, or what happened next.

But I think, for a drabble, that’s OK.

October 5th: What Care I For Beans?

 
A pile of conkers, in and out of their shells. Overlaid text: "#drabbletober", in pale green.
 

Day 5 of my drabble-a-day challenge. Here is today's drabble:


What Care I For Beans?

Bodies lay broken among the green leaves, and blood soaked into the earth with the late, golden sunshine.

One man stood, silent, a tear running down his face.

"Victory!" boomed a voice above him. The knight swayed in his saddle, light-headed with wounds. "The Queen is safe!"

He stared down at the man. "Aren't you happy? Are you another traitor?"

"This was my field. My crop of beans."

"Ha!" The knight threw back his head, laughing. "We save kingdoms, and you talk of beans!"

The knight rode off, leaving the man to wonder how to feed his family come winter.


There is controversy this evening. I wrote this on my phone, on the tube, on the way home from a comedy show (Leo Reich’s Literally Who Cares? which I highly recommend). Some random online word-count-y thing assured me it was 100 words.

Then I get home, and check with my trusty emacs M-x-count-words (shut up, shut up, I am a computer programmer from the past), and it says… 101. I think it boils down to whether you consider “light-headed” to be one word or two.

Anyway, I have written a very short story, in accordance with an arbitrary constraint. It just might not have been exactly the same arbitrary constraint as I’m usually working to. You’ve got to pick your battles.

October 4th: Three Left Feet and a Dead Mouse

 
A hydrangea bush, with green-to-blue flowers in the foreground and pink flowers further back. Overlaid with the text "#drabbletober" in pale purple.
 

Day four of my drabble-a-day challenge. Here is today’s drabble:


Three Left Feet and a Dead Mouse

She slammed the plastic crate down on the desk.

"Again! I'm fed up of clearing their mess out of the portals."

I flinched. "What is it this time?"

"Three feet!" She flipped the lid open. "Three left feet. And a dead mouse. All in portal one. It's not right."

"I'll call the professor..."

"And I don't want to know what's in portal two. If the prof wants to collect it, he'll need a bucket."

It was always the same after student parties. Someone would finish a crate of beer, and wonder if the teleporter really was limited to inorganic matter.


I don’t have a sensible origin story for today’s drabble. Having been sitting at a desk all day, I went for a walk this evening. Nothing glamorous, just a prowl round my local neighbourhood while trying to think of a tiny plot - and apparently failed teleportation is where it’s at today.

October 3rd: Horror Stew

 
A cloudy blue sky, with the last pale orange remains of sunset disappearing into the sea. A black fence is in the foreground in silhouette. Blue text overlaid across the sky: #drabbletober.
 

Day three of my drabble-a-day challenge. Here’s today’s drabble:


Horror Stew

We stirred his lies in a pot over the fire, throwing in garlic and cinnamon to hide the taste.

The sauce they made was thin, so we thickened it with screaming, with blood pounding and footsteps closing in the dark. Thick fingers grasping until bones snapped added meat to the stew.

It seethed away for years, ignored. If he ever caught the scent of the rising steam, he sluiced it away with beer.

Our last breaths bubbled, one by one. And when only he was left, he had no choice but to serve a bowlful and learn to eat it.


Well, I’m not saying it’s not an odd one today. I’ve been batch-cooking this evening, cackling gleefully while stirring a big pan of chilli.

I thought it’d be nice to write something with a cooking theme, and this is what came out…

October 2nd: The Fortune Tree

 
A green hedge above a grey stone wall. Strands of red creeper are trailing across the hedge. Overlaid over the stone wall in green: #drabbletober.
 

Day Two of my drabble-a-day challenge. Here is today’s drabble:


The Fortune Tree

I slipped out quietly, but I got back to find Mum at the kitchen table with a pot of tea. And tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry! There's this tradition..."

"I know."

"Before you leave, you hide something you value in the tree."

She looked up. "Something you value?"

"My fountain pen."

I'd written all my exams with it, all my stories. I'd rammed it under the rough bark, high up.

"We always said something of value. I stole my mother's wedding ring."

I looked at the damp ceiling. Mum's worn, lined face.

"I guess that didn't bring you fortune."


I woke up this morning thinking of one of my favourite novels. In particular, trying to remember the name of one of the central characters. Was it Isambard? Surely not, that is a name which is uniquely associated with building bridges and tunnels.

I could check either by rummaging around in the shelves for the book, or Googling. Naturally, I chose the latter because it didn’t involve getting out of bed: Ralf Isambard.

The book in question is The Heaven Tree, the first book in Edith Pargeter’s epic trilogy. I highly recommend it if you enjoy historical fiction (Edith Pargeter is better known as Ellis Peters, the pseudonym under which she wrote the Brother Cadfael whodunnits).

Anyway, it set me off thinking: could I write a very short story with the title The Heaven Tree. The answer appears to be “no”, but I got reasonably close.

October 1st: Starlight Decay

 
Ripening blue/purple berries against a background of green foliage and red stems. Text overlay of "#drabbletober", in purple.
 

Right, then. It’s October. So here we are, and I need to embark on Day One of my drabble-a-day challenge. Here is today’s drabble…


Starlight Decay

The first time I went offworld, Zoe asked for a bottle of starlight.

She loved it, until Frankie broke it.

"Big brothers are the worst," I agreed.

She asked again, next time I went. She was older - and smart, getting As in physics. Diodes embedded in glass wouldn't fool her now.

She took the new, black bottle with her to university: her favourite posession, her starlight, fetched by her astronaut uncle.

When her girlfriend opened it, that ended the relationship.

"You dumped her? For that?"

"She said how pretty the starlight was as it spilled out. I'm not an idiot."


Today’s title comes from a track that came up while I was out running this morning, it’s from the sadly now-defunct American horror-punk band Blitzkid [EDIT: Wikipedia tells me they’ve reformed. Woot!]

The story bears no relation to the song, I just loved the phrase “starlight decay” and decided to use it for today’s jumping-off point.

Have you written a drabble today? I want to hear about it! If you’re on Twitter, I’d encourage you share it using the hashtag #drabbletober. Or drop me a link in the comments!

Drabbletober!

Autumn leaves in a park, overlaid with the text #drabbletober

It's that time of year, when people's thoughts begin to turn up NaNoWriMo. Mine do not, because I'm pretty confident that I can't write a 50k word first draft and have a full-time job at the same time. I'm aware other people have done it but, as I understand it, it involves economising on sleep in a way that is extremely detrimental to Elizabeths.

However, I'm always up for a writing challenge, and I welcome the accountability that comes with such things. In other words: I'm about to try and manufacture a series of artificial deadlines to prod myself into arranging more words into stories.

Besides, haven't you been thinking that there just aren't enough of those month portmanteau words (portmontheaus?) and that we should invent a few more?

Accordingly, I declare it to be imminently Drabbletober. During October, I'll be attempting to write (and post here) a drabble every day.

A drabble?

Yup. A drabble is a story consisting of exactly 100 words. I wrote about my approach to writing drabbles, and how much fun they are, a few months ago.

I'll be attempting to write and post one a day through October. In an attempt to foster a daily writing practice, I will be taking this literally... No stacking up spare drabbles at weekends. Strictly one new idea, written up as a hundred word story, per day. Will I manage to keep this up for the whole month? Stick around to find out!

I'll be tweeting about this using the hashtag #drabbletober, and would be absolutely delighted if anyone else chose to join in. Write one, or write one every day. Share it, or keep it to yourself.



Seaside Gothic, and "How To Grow Up"

 
Masthead and front cover of Seaside Gothic, issue 4
 

Let’s get the headline news out of the way: I have a new story out! It is called How To Grow Up and you can read it in issue 4 of Seaside Gothic. You can purchase a single issue of the paper magazine in their shop, or subscribe either digitally or paper-ly. You can also read some of their stories free on their site, but not (at present) mine.

OK, the rest of this blog post is going to be me telling you how delightful I find Seaside Gothic. I was initially won over by the name: I am a massive fan of the seaside, and of gothic things. Gothic literature with a saltwater theme? Bring it on. I signed up, digitally, immediately.

It looks beautiful…

Then issue 3 came out, and I wished I’d bought a paper subscription. The editor tweeted pictures of magazines, wrapped in logo’d envelopes and stuffed by the handful into pillar boxes. The artwork, in full colour, looked gorgeous.

I wanted this graphically-lovely thing to come skimming through my letterbox.

(I also live in a flat and would like not to acquire more things that need storage - this is why I’d opted for the e-subscription).

They’re kind to their authors…

I submitted a story to the magazine. It was rejected, but the editor sent me extensive feedback, and invited me to resubmit. The comments he made were very thoughtful, and quite wide-reaching - one suggestion he made was to alter completely the premise of the piece.

He also recommended some techniques that I could use to try and improve on the story, which have (in the longer term) changed the way I write dialogue.

The story, How to Grow Up, was accepted on resubmission. But even had it not been it would have emerged from the process as a bigger and better piece of writing.

The personal touch…

My contributor’s copy of issue 4 arrived today in the post, and included a personal note from the editor. Cute, I thought, he’s used a font that looks like a worn typewriter.

Then I picked up the letter, and my thumb ran over the text. Nope. It’s typed. Actually typed, on an actual typewriter. And actually signed with an actual pen.

Someone, in a busy world where printing out multiple copies of a note is trivial, has put the time and effort in to type something. And it means a lot.

 
Part of typed letter, and "contributor copy" envelope, both with edistinctive circular Seaside Gothic logo
 

"The Sin Jar" and "Switching Sides"

I have not been doing a terribly good job on blog posts lately. But fear not - what I have been doing is persuading people of the publishing sphere that they want to unleash my stories onto the world.

Quite some moons ago, the lovely people at All Worlds Wayfarer published a story of mine in issue V of their magazine of speculative fiction. Now, after a little hiatus at the end of 2021, All Worlds Wayfarer is back in business with issue XII.

Although I’d say that AWWF is always worth buying, this issue will include a new story of mine, called The Sin Jar. You can get an e-book copy of issue XII from AWWF directly, or from Amazon, or for a limited period of time can read the story free on their website.

If you read the story free, it’d be lovely of you to chuck a quid in their Ko-Fi tip jar, if you’re able to do that.

In a manner that will doubtless surprise anyone who knows what a super-slick publicity machine I am, I think I actually forgot to mention that I’d had a story in Andromeda Spaceways Magazine, issue 87, last month.

ASM is the inflight magazine of Andromeda Spaceways, a company which has been providing intergalatic travel for an impressive twenty years. As they proudly advertise: “We'll get you there ... sooner or later”. The magazine editorial describes my story, Switching Sides, as “cheeky”.

My story involves serious crime, cold-blooded murder, jewellery theft, and a sub-oceanic spa. And quite a lot of tea, much of which ends up on the floor. It is, ahem, not the most serious thing I have ever written.

New Stories: "The Organist and the Old Man" and "Memories"

I have two new stories out and at large in the world!

The latest issue of Cosmic Horror Monthly contains my short horror story, “The Organist and the Old Man”. Issue 25 is now available for purchase (in either e-book or p-book format) from CHM’s website. This is the first story I’ve had published in a magazine that pays “professional” rates for stories, and I’m very proud of it.

Cosmic Horror Monthly is well worth reading, and this issue is packed full of good stuff. And it has tentacles on the cover. Everyone likes tentacles, no?

Also recently published is Edition 6 of The Quiet Reader, the magazine which describes itself as “born in a town called Solitaire, in the state of Quarantine in the country of 2020. In it, you can read “Memories”, which is a rare example of me writing a story set entirely in the real world, with no supernatural trickery.

“Memories“ was the first story I ever had accepted for publication - but for a whole series of reasons I am unsure when and whether it was actually published. The Quiet Reader very kindly agreed to consider the story, despite its murky past, and I was delighted when they included it in their most recent issue.

New Story: Other Lives

According to a vast and slightly complex spreadsheet I keep, I first started submitting stories to magazines in 2013. I sent off around ten, and then stopped abruptly - probably because the company I was working for collapsed, and I had to divert my energy into finding, and then learning, a new job.

I didn’t pick up again until 2017 (six submissions) and 2018 (thirteen). Then, halfway through 2019 I got the most amazing email: someone actually wanted to publish something! Not only was it my first publication, it was in a magazine which I loved reading: Luna Station Quarterly. I was terribly excited about it at the time, and then again when I got the real, live, paper version in the post.

LSQ remains one of my favourite publications; every few months they print a selection of brand new stories from female-identified writers. Their most recent edition - number 50 - is an extra-length issue to celebrate the anniversary.

I’m honoured to be included in their pages again. My short fantasy piece Other Lives is up there in the table-of-contents, rubbing shoulders with beautiful love stories and weird tales of aliens on earth. I highly recommend getting yourself a copy - or at least reading a few stories from the website. Links to purchase, or to read, are all here .

People sometimes ask me if it’s OK to share links to my stories (with friends, or on Facebook, etc). To which the answer is yes! Yes, please do - the more the messier merrier.

Reveal / They Brought Me My Schooldays

It has just been pointed out to me that, although I’ve advertised recent new stories on my mailing list, I’ve not actually posted about them here. Which is very remiss of me, apologies! must try harder!

(Of course, if you are aware that I am a rather disorganised person who might forget this sort of thing, you can maximise your chances of receiving news by getting on my mailing list. I currently average one or two posts a month, and I will absolutely not sell your details to advertisers or organ thieves. You can sign up on my main page.)

So, on to the fiction!

Issue 8 of Briefly Zine included a new super-short story of mine, called “Reveal”. Telling you anything about the piece would be a spoiler, but you can find it free to read on their website. Briefly publish an excellent range of micro-fiction and short poetry, you can always squeeze one of their pieces in while you wait for the kettle to boil.

Eunoia Review publishes new pieces daily, and a few days ago they debuted “They Brought Me My Schooldays”. I wrote the first draft of this story on my phone in a packed carriage of the Central Line, and it remains one of my favourite things I’ve ever written. I am delighted that it is finally out there in the world, and you can read it on Eunoia' Review’s website. Why not make a date to visit Eunoia Review during your afternoon coffee break?

I’ve already had a couple of acceptances, so there are definitely two new (longer) stories in the pipeline for this year. I also have a huge queue of pieces out on submission (and, of course, an unholy stack of rejections). Watch this space!

Wanted: Elves

 
Two small plastic model people, one holding a real-size pencil, one holding a size-appropriate broom, standing on a notebook page.
 

A couple of weeks ago I opened up the hard-backed notebook I use for long-hand first drafts of stories. In it, I found a piece of flash fiction that I didn’t remember writing - all complete and ready for editing. Also, a semi-finished drabble.

Admittedly, the cover of the notebook was covered in an unidentifiable and incredibly sticky substance, so it’s possible this was the work of some ectoplasm-exuding creature from the pit rather than a more benign Elves-and-Shoemaker situation. But really? A story’s a story. I’ll take what I can get.

I polished up the flash, dispatched it off to a highly-respected journal and… it got rejected, which somewhat spoils the fairy-tale narrative angle. I’ve also left the notebook prominently on the table at night since, with pencils, sometimes next to small piles of sweets or fruit, but the Ecto-Elves have not returned.

In all honesty, the story was in my handwriting. And, after reading it, I did have vague memories of having started it some weeks earlier*. But the experience of finding an unexpectedly-complete piece of writing is surprisingly joyful and I would like it to happen more often. I am, fortunately, catastrophically forgetful so this is easier to engineer than it otherwise might be.

The other element necessary for success - in this specific regard - seems to be writing a lot. I still need to work on that one. However, I suspect that a podcast I listened to recently might be quite helpful.

Thus far the podcast - The Writer’s Mind - has only one episode, but I’m hoping for more. In it, Sean Levin (of Writing Maps fame) talks through writing tips, techniques and prompts. Most critically, the podcast includes several five- or ten-minute silences for the listener to scribble out as many words as they can. These do not - or in my case did not! - end up as complete stories. But they are there as sections of description, ideas, and avenues-to-pursue for future-me to stumble upon.

There is an argument that I could just set aside a ten-minute slot each day to scribble furiously without Sean whispering into my headphones. I may also try that! Somehow, I find it easier to follow an instruction to do something that I do to issue it myself. If anyone has any similar tricks for causing writing to happen, I’d love to hear them. As it is, I shall be trying to litter my notebook with gobbets of words, like laying down wine for the future.

And if some of those pieces grow unexpectedly into finished works? Even better.


* I never did work out what the weirdly sticky stuff on the book cover was, though. I cleaned it off and hoped for the best.

Looking For "The Drop" in Horror Fiction

 
Grainy, distorted, monochrome image of a white female in a black hood.
 

Many years ago, when I was at university, I wandered into a room where a friend was looking at a picture. I don’t remember if it was a photograph, or an illustration in a book; it’s a sufficiently long time ago that it probably wasn’t on a screen.

Anyway, I looked over his shoulder at the picture: a fancy, black, metal gate. Across the gateway’s arch, large letters spelled out “Arbeit Macht Frei”. I looked at the picture, and I laughed.

(You may already be running ahead in this story; stick with me.)

My friend asked why I was laughing.

Well, I explained. I’d always thought that sort of attitude - the mindset that built gateways for The Poor Working Class and put Improving Moral Epithets over them - was peculiar to Victorian Britain. To the nineteenth-century mill- and mine-owners who, simultaneously exploitative and paternalistic, squeezed workers dry while espousing the merits of hard work, and self-improvement. The practice of putting these slogans on doorways and arches was something I’d always found grimly amusing.

And - now - apparently it wasn’t just Britain. Even in Germany, there had been equivalent factory-owners who probably disregarded safety and paid their staff a pittance even as the gateway promised that Work Sets You Free. I imagined the owners waffling into their handlebar moustaches and congratulating themselves on the excellent opportunities they afforded the local labourers. See, if you just work a little harder for a little less money, your opportunities will be endless! If you die poor, it is because you didn’t work hard enough!

My friend - whose Jewish father had fled Europe in the late 1930s, and whose aunts and cousins had not and had died in concentration camps - said to me: you do know that this is the gateway to Auschwitz?

No, I had not known.

“Arbeit Macht Frei” wasn’t another piece of Victorian-era hypocrisy. It wasn’t the pompous moralising I’d assumed. It was a sick joke, a lie to give hope to the doomed people for whom no amount of hard work would ever, ever make a difference.

I don’t remember what I said, or how I reacted. I do remember how I felt: a sudden, sickening drop as everything changed. But, of course, nothing had changed; nothing except my own viewpoint.

I don’t imagine I will ever write a story set in a concentration camp; I don’t know enough, and I don’t feel the stories are mine to tell. But that moment, that drop, is something I’ve been looking for in horror fiction ever since. The pinpoint sentence when a single piece of information causes everything to become different.

When the shadows resolve into a shape. When you find the killer’s plans and realise they are in your own handwriting. When you realise the calls are coming from inside the house.

It might be a twist ending, a single set-piece in which the entire world comes crashing down. It might be a series of tiny reveals throughout the story, a building, unsettling feeling of uncertainty. Both play into the big fear: that thing you know? that you’re certain of? it’s not true. The world is not how you think it is.

Those instants of realisation will always, to me, be the essence of good horror writing.